accesslife... accesshope

   

Yesterday evening I had the privilege of spending time with 8 angels. These angels have come from different corners of India in search of hope. I am talking about the 8-9 children who live at the Accesslife centre for kids suffering from cancer. The big C doesn’t differentiate... you could be living in Antilla or you could be from Dharavi… this disease doesn’t need to call your secretary and take an appointment. This disease doesn’t give a warning like our erstwhile weather bureau. It’s like the unwelcome guest who thinks it’s his prerogative to invade your privacy and alter your comfort zones to suit his needs. Accesslife is a venture by a group of people who believe that if the big C cannot differentiate then neither should we. They have set up a care center, in a quaint little neighbourhood of Chembur,  providing a roof over the heads of those whom destiny has challenged. I mean, what was Lady Destiny thinking?!? “Hmm, let me see, the floor they are sleeping on is too smooth; the roti too hard; the labour too menial… here let me add some tadka to their life… how about a life threatening disease!?? Let’s see how they cope with it!” Well, Madam Destiny, have I got news for you! Give it your best shot, we at Accesslife, will match you every step of the way.

Yesterday, a Charlie Chaplin show was organized for them along with a demonstration on sand art. Now you’ve got to understand… these kids wouldn’t know Charlie’s talent even if he were to wave his stick like a lunatic at them. The best thing about Charlie was no language barrier, just pure fun. It didn’t matter whether you were from a remote village in Bihar or West Bengal… comedy is the universal language and these kids got a taste of it. To see their faces light up like a Christmas tree was enough to calm the storm that awaits them every Monday when they go for chemo. The parents who live with them at the centre, too, forgot for a brief moment that tomorrow a high dose of poison will be administered to their babies. They forgot to think, “Will he vomit? Will the nurse find his vein easily? Will a piece of my heart break when he cries in pain?” My own boys who had accompanied me, remarked, “They don’t look like they are suffering from anything!” Yesterday they learnt a lesson on how to be dignified when you have a face-off with Death. Yesterday they learnt to appreciate the chocolates, cakes and cookies that they can eat while these 8 are on a restricted diet. Yesterday they learnt to share their precious phone and play a game of angry birds with this happy lot.

I can go on and on, but I want to put this blog to use. I don’t want only your ‘likes’ and comments. This is not a piece like the thousands you find on FB claiming 1 like=1 less day of chemo! That’s as ridiculous as saying… 1 like will automatically transfuse blood into the veins of a kid suffering from aplasty anemia. This is not a Bollywood blockbuster with one brother directly transfusing his marrow into the other brother’s body while a Nirupa Roy type mother cries and rings the temple bells in the rain. This team at Accesslife has to work hard, chalk out plans, schedules, provisions, consult nutrionists, buy clothes, toys, and put food on the table for these 8 families. No Bollywood-esque drama for them, only deadlines to meet, in case it gets too late for even one of the angels. To achieve their targets they have even come out with 2015 diaries, with details and pictures of all these families. You can order the same through me. It costs 350 per piece. I know I have spent 350+, blindly at multiplexes and beauty parlours… and not that there is anything wrong with that. I am not telling you to give up your lifestyle. I know I will continue with mine too. But if you really sit to count the pennies that these kids need then the rupees wont pinch so much.

I know I should end now because our attention span is constantly competing with the next Whats’App notification. But it needs to be said, there is hope after all.  If a pessimistic person like me can see a glimmer of light at the end of a tunnel then definitely the Accesslife team is on the right path. There is hope not only for those 8 families, but also for my generation. I thought that all was lost with this wave of materialism taking over our lives; that we cannot escape it. But yesterday when I saw photos being clicked on iphones and ipads, it made me realize that, not all is lost. If these guys don’t give a second thought while spending on their own luxuries then they don’t spare a second to make the lives of these angels comfortable. Whether its time or money, it flows freely. There is only one goal, the smiles should not stop. So Lady Destiny… our gloves are on… we are ready for Round 1. Are you?! 

         
   you can connect with them directly http://www.accesslife.org/

Lessons in Life

My friend asked me to help her daughter prepare a speech for the latter's Annual Day. She was supposed to speak on the importance of extra curicular activities in school. Here is what I managed to come up with on short notice.

Good evening everybody! And welcome to the ____ (number) annual day of st. Anne’s, Fort. Today we felicitate not only the students who have shown academic brilliance but also those who have excelled in extracurricular activities. Our institution teaches us to dot our ‘i’s and dash our ‘t’s as much as it teaches us to step into the world of art music and drama. Throughout the year we’ve had activities like _____ ____ ____ which have opened the doors of creativity and imagination for us. If our parents have taught us our first words then it is our teachers who teach us the difference between Shakespeare and Voltaire. Its very easy to lose ourselves in this cut throat world of percentages and averages but at the end of the day, if we can stop and appreciate a beautiful sunset then our art teacher has been successful at her job. If we can tap our feet and feel the rhythm in our soul when we hear a good song, then our music teacher has passed his test. During drama practice, the shy timid girl will forget her inhibitions and put on her mask to enact the shrew in all her glory for ‘Taming of the Shrew’. You might wonder why your daughter needs to learn a speech… but what if she has to make a presentation in office someday or even better, stand up in court and fight for what she believes in. THAT is the confidence we gain on this stage. The ugly duckling transforms into a swan right HERE… not because she knows how to apply makeup perfectly but because her soul shines through her and the magical beauty becomes visible to all. 

Let me end this by saying, there is no harm in learning a skill… after all, if it weren’t for the 100m race during sports day, would it be possible to catch the last Virar local at Churchgate or do the long jump over the potholes? Nah… I don’t think so. Where else would we learn such life-skills!? So thank you for giving me this chance to give a speech. There might come a day when I stand in a courtroom full of strangers n hardened criminals, with butterflies in my stomach ready to stand up for I believe in and I will look back at this evening and I will know that all's gonna be OK. Thank you. 

Fingers crossed... the teacher should approve this and my job will be done here. 

L = Look out, she's driving!

 

My husband did the most unpredictable thing last week. He decided, all by himself, that I am not a threat to public life on the scooter; hence I deserve a set of four wheels and a steering wheel. So he went and bought a second hand Wagon R… to put his belief to the test. So here we were Mr. and Mrs. Sarkari, proud owners of a tin box on wheels. You say, what’s so great in that?!? My friend, the thing is that neither of us knows how to drive. So we enrolled the services of a dear friend who is blessed with a lot of free time on his hands but mainly who has loads of patience to deal with a maniac like moi. Now please note, that this guy is the master of a ship, he can command and hire and fire people like nobody’s business… but he volunteered to teach ME!!! God bless him!

So day 1: first dilemma… Coach has long legs and I don’t. So every time we switched seats, the seat had to be pulled back and front. So one thing is certain, my seat adjustment works just fine. Then the biggest challenge… TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE TWO MORE WHEELS AND THAT THIS IS NOT A SCOOTER! Man, that’s one thing that can be easily forgotten. My poor coach who by now must be wondering why he volunteered for this task, had his hands constantly on the hand brake! I think it was more of an insurance for his safety as being in the soon forgotten passenger seat with me in driver’s seat, can be life threatening.

Day 2: Become aware of a few Rules of the Road. Such as ….

·        1. Always tie up your hair tightly. When the window is rolled down and few loose strands fly into your nose, you will feel like sneezing and accidently press the accelerator instead of brake! Not that I did that… but came pretty close to it.

·        2. If you do feel the need to abuse someone who is honking from behind, then please please please, pull to the side-abuse-let him pass- and then start driving. Now this rule is very important or else your car will drift to the left  while you are exercising your vocal chords and run over early morning joggers :(

·        3. Trying to take a U-turn at the speed of 40 is not going to work since you haven’t married Schumacher.

Day 3 onwards: A Zen like perspective on life over takes you. You realize that a human can suffer mini heart attacks because some doodhwala bhaiya decides to come right at you the wrong way! If there is ever a petition of sending them back to Laaloo’s land, I will sign it first. You realize that there are drunkards trying to cross the road at 6.30am too. With all due respect dude, make up your mind, you coming or going to the bar!!! And whats with all these crows and pigeons!!!! They come right at you like the Japanese bombers who bombed Pearl Harbour! First time I actually ducked! Then realized, damn it woman! You’ve got a roof over your head now!!! :) Fire away all you want!

So basically, things have become calmer now in my little Wagon R. My coach has learnt to take his hand off the hand brake! He can safely play candy crush while I crush someone’s toe (not yet :P ) But then the battle has only just begun. We still have to conquer the slopes of Malabar Hill and begin the dreaded chapter ‘ Perfect Parking’. But that is another day, another blog. For now, if you see a silver Wagon coming your way… just stay out of the way… and don’t even assume that I will wave at you, coz waving is also a strict no-no in the rule book. Ask the poor pedestrian whose smile froze as I waved at him.

It sucks to be a grown up

It sucks to be a grown up. Now don’t go and jump at me and say “what rubbish! We are living the dream, man! No curfew hours or moms acting like traffic-helicopters hovering over us! U’ve lost it dude!” Just take a step back and think. What was expected off you back then? All you had to do was study or show up at a few family functions where awesome food was provided FREE! All you had to do was ask your mom, “Ma, what’s for lunch?” Then make a sour face if she said the dreaded word which begins with a ‘V’ and ends with ‘able’. All you had to do was sneak out and have a dosa or a pizza and life was set. Now let me give you the low-down on what it means to be a grown-up.

•   You’ve got to work your ass off because no one is going to give you pocket money anymore for that pizza or dosa.
•   If you are a woman then too bad… even the aforesaid pizza or dosa you will have to provide for by standing near a stove in 38 degrees temperature.
• Growing up means, leaving the best piece of fish/meat/cake/chocolate for the fruits of your loins; no matter how much you deserve it because you have cleaned it and cooked it and the entire process took the same time it does for one to travel to Andheri and back.
• Growing up means you have to deal with nincompoop type of bank clerks who you will very willing kill and go to jail because none of them get your drift.
• No one is going to pick up your shoes or your clothes are not going to wash themselves.
• Growing up means that there is nothing like a free-lunch anymore. Even that wedding you went to as a kid, now you will have to pay for that food in the guise of a ‘gift’.
• Growing up means surviving mini heart attacks every time you drive on roads ruled by colour blind bus drivers.

I could go on and on… but you get my drift, don’t you now? I am sure I have missed on tons of things that grown-ups do… but then you will figure out that staying a kid is the biggest joy in a human’s life. Staying a kid means…

•  Hugs and kisses even when you don’t ask for them.
•  Food that heals your soul.
•  Small achievements that are feted as if you have climbed the Everest.
•  Having a mom at your beck and call.
•  Having a dad stand behind you to catch you in case you fall from you cycle.
• The only race you run is on the sports field. And even if you loose you still manage to have a great time.
• Ringing doorbells and running away.
• Feeling as if you can conquer the world with your two-bit knowledge.

So my babies, enjoy the moment. Enjoy the calm before the storm i.e. is otherwise known as adulthood steps in. Feel the wind in your hair when you ride that cycle because soon the pandu-mama is going to fine you for not wearing a helmet. Eat to your heart’s content because soon you will be counting calories. Save your pennies in the tin box because soon you will have to fill up tons of forms to have access to YOUR own hard earned money. Enjoy the age of Nokia right now so that when you buy the Nexus yourself, you will feel the sweet pangs of success. 

So you see, it sucks to be a grown-up but a grown-up you’ve got to be. Till then, ring all the doorbells and run and hide and giggle in glee when the neighbor opens the door semi-nude covered in shampoo cursing his luck. Be ‘I’ because as a grown-up you’ve got to be ‘We’.