high on ammonia...

 

So one day I decided to go and indulge in some PBI – personal beauty indulgence. So I walked into a high end hajaam-ki-dukaan; also known as… salon. I knew that I will be ripped off… but I was in one of those crazy moods where I wanted to be ripped off just so that I could channelize my angst towards them rather than other things. So there I was…I needed a hair cut (after a year); thought paisa vasool hoga. My barber-ni or some may call ‘stylist’ takes one look at my hair and comments how well they have grown out and that there is not much she can change since I din’t want to do anything radical like chopping it all off like the last time. So a brain wave struck her and me at the same time. How about highlights! You know… to break the monotony of black and the hidden grey. I jumped on to the idea… and went into intense conversations on the after care, colour, time required etc etc… Of course in all that initial enthusiasm, I forgot to ask the cost. And when my diamaag ki batti jali… my jaw dropped. Now how to refuse after all that time-pass?! So she agreed to give me a concession which was not that concessional… and since I had already walked in with the knowledge that; today I am getting ripped off a part of my salary; I agreed. 

Now the thing with highlights is that they take parts of your hair and colour that only. When I saw her take 0.7% of my hair… I panicked… all that money and not even that much of hair to colour. So I very sweetly, like an innocent lamb, told her that I can see a lot of black still left. She equally sweetly told me… that’s the way one highlights otherwise I will land up looking like some of the tarts who line the streets. Hmm… for the price I was paying… I wanted to beg her to make me look like a tart!!! But then better sense prevailed and I let her do her job. Then a thought struck me… since I am getting ripped.. let me go all the way… how about a pedicure in one of those fancy vibrating chairs! But by the time I mustered enough confidence to think I was worthy of THAT chair… a social butterfly flitted in and sat on it like it was her throne and she was the queen of Pedicurasia! Humbled… I started looking around. A young girl was learning how to apply make-up on her already pretty face. Elsewhere, a ‘I-am-a-model’ type guy enters and asks for a haircut. But the best was… a semi-bald guy walking in for a haircut with my stylist. Now did I mention that my barber-ni/stylist is very/extremely good looking? Well, she started working on him while my colour latched on. I couldn’t take my eyes off the entire scene!! She was searching for hair to cut… while chatting him up. The entire process took 20 mins! A semi-bald haircut… 20 minutes!!!!! I couldn’t help choking on my laughter. So when she was done with him.. I asked her.. WTF was all that about? Why did he bother to spend 1k on a non-existent haircut!! And she simply answered… when you are earning in crores you don’t mind spending 20 minutes chatting up with a stylist and feeling good about it knowing fully well that a hajaam across the street would do the same for you in 60 bucks. All she had to do was touch his pate and it was paisa vasool for him. 

So coming back to my highlights… I learned to love them. She spent exactly 10 minutes ‘styling’ my hair… and now I am stuck with expensive shampoo n stuff for the hair. But what the hell…. I enjoyed getting ripped. Once in a while its ok to NOT think rationally and do something crazy to lift your mood. Rather than drink yourself silly… I got high on ammonia that day. Like someone famous once said, “Coz I’m worth it.”